Cancer: a diagnosis commonly associated with death. So naturally, when I found out a lump recently removed from a loved one was cancerous, I was overcome with dread.
Because she lives a very healthy lifestyle — organic food, regular exercise, low exposure to environmental toxins, loves and is loved — I was almost certain we’d have a few more years together.
I don’t want to spend too much worrying about how this happened. This is what is and I need to deal with it, not dwell on the past.
I’m focused on finding a solution. It’s what I do best.
The problem is that almost everything I’ve read on the internet can explain her symptoms. Alternative medicine websites claim their solutions are effective while western medicine studies show that they aren’t. This has left me feeling terribly confused and frustrated. I’ve ended up putting blind faith in almost anything, including copper chains that a stranger I met in the park swears worked for him!
I look for tiny signs of improvement however subtle – does she seem to be more alert today than yesterday or is she limping less today than a week ago? Thus, Hope is small victories.
But I can’t help but spend hours worrying; researching what natural ingredients to include in her diet to boost immune function and improve gut flora after multiple rounds of bacterial infection. I even put together a spreadsheet of ingredients to include with her food so she gets the daily recommended amounts.
But then I read a quote about how unproductive worrying truly is. I stress myself out and am a hot bundle of nerves around her. The power of positivity urges us to believe everything will be okay. Because the alternative – negative thoughts – create negative feelings, moods and behavior. So, despite finding two new lumps yesterday with the same consistency as the one found to be carcinogenic, I’m trying my best to believe everything will work out.
So here I am today, telling myself that she will be okay, regardless of the outcome. And sharing this with all of you in hope that there’s something to the law of attraction (the idea that positive thoughts can bring about positive outcomes).
Thanks for listening & best to you and yours,
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